Timothy Lawton


The Gardening Season Begins (Churchill’s Speech)

by on Feb.15, 2010, under Gardening, General, Humor

Well, I just sent out my seed order on Friday. Hopefully I’ll get them soon. It’s been a tough time because I’m traumatized by the deer eating half of my unfenced in gardens last year. So, I’m preparing for battle. I shall go on to the end. I will fight them in the gardens. I will fight them on the lawn. I will fight them with growing confidence in my choice of plants and deterrents. I will defend my land. Whatever the cost may be. I shall fight in the parking lots. I shall fight them on the streets. I will fight them on the paths, and if I should I will fight them in the forests. I SHALL NEVER SURRENDER!!!

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Failed Businesses

by on Mar.31, 2009, under Humor

1. Joe’s Bank and Gunshop

2. Victoria’s Secret of Saudi Arabia

3. Tao Ming’s Italian Restaurant

4. Sahara Sand and Gravel

5. Swiss Wheelchair Vacations

6. Josef Stalin Collectbles

7. India’s Best BBQ

8. Hooter’s of San Francisco

9. White Slaves R Us

10. The Military Aczdemy of France

11. Mosquito Lake Lodge

12. The Poprocks Shipping Co.

13. The Israeli Pork and Cheeseburger Co.

14. South Florida Ski Barn

15. Def Jam Middle East

16. Girls Girls Girls of Greenwhich Village

17. Inuet Ice Cream Shop

18. Communist Flea Market

19. Just Bolts, Nothing Else

20. Arabian Divorce Lawyers Cohen and Horowitz

21. Gynsu Knives for Kids

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