Timothy Lawton

1/17/2007

God, sometimes I feel as if I’m in the depths of the ocean
In the darkness beyond the light
Crushed by the waters of experience
The only life down here trickles in from up above
That world where people live
I’m alive, but I have nothing of my own
It’s as if I’m a social parasite
Leeching off the blood of others
No triumphs of my own
No smiles are mine
Frustration is my brood
Lonlieness my possession
The only life I see is from the lights of others
Time is a burden, memory a pain
Trying not to expect to be disappointed again
Hope has made me look the fool a thousand times
Truth has revealed the darkness of humanity
Goodness is not the heart of men
Their light is a burning flame that reduces all around it to ash
Their reality a lie
When they smile it’s evil
When they shine it’s only a reflection of fire
Maybe I should content myself with the frigid black of the abyss
Their false light is only an image of demonic thoughts
Their surface world has never known the rays of the Son
May I close my eyes and know your truth
May I endure the pressure until I see your shine